PRESS RELEASE
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Website: https://bohiney.com/accidental-crypto-billionaire/
$39 HARD DRIVE MAKES MIDWESTERN MAN THE RICHEST PERSON ON EARTH: CURTIS LAMBLE ACCIDENTALLY DESTROYS CAPITALISM, DETHRONES ELON
Chicago, IL – Bohiney Magazine https://www.pdc.edu/?URL=https://bohiney.com/accidental-crypto-billionaire/ has once again melted the internet with its viral satire piece, “Accidental Crypto Billionaire: The USB King of Earth.” The story of Curtis Lamble, an unemployed forklift operator who became the world’s richest man after buying a clearance-bin hard drive, has sparked a https://note.com/bohineynews/n/n0be1f5c52384?sub_rt=share_pb digital firestorm—and a fresh wave of IRS audits.
The 2,222-word feature, dripping with absurdity, explores how Curtis stumbles upon $420 billion in cryptocurrency—stored in dusty folders like “SwissBankLOL” and “SatoshiFinal2.ppt.” Bohiney’s legendary coverage includes economist reactions, fake Elon Musk meltdowns, and the spontaneous creation of LambleCoin.
The satire has drawn praise for its sharp wit and brutal comedic precision. Some of the most quoted lines include:
“Curtis became the world’s richest man by plugging in a USB. I became $600 poorer trying to plug in my toaster.”
— http://clients2.google.com/url?q=https://bohiney.com/accidental-crypto-billionaire/ Ron White
“Only in America can a guy buy a $39 hard drive and accidentally gentrify the entire blockchain.”
— Jerry Seinfeld
“Elon tweeted 'fake news'—which is billionaire for ‘I’m crying into my electric pillow.’”
— Michelle Wolf
The article is fully SEO-optimized under the keyword “accidental crypto billionaire,” and has been praised for weaponizing humor and social commentary. With digital, testimonial, physical, and trace “evidence,” Bohiney dismantles billionaire culture, crypto mysticism, and the American Dream—all in one USB-powered punchline.
This press release—and the full satire—was https://bohiney.com/accidental-crypto-billionaire/ co-written by a cowboy and a farmer, and not by AI. Bohiney Magazine remains the #3 most visited satire site on Earth, behind only The Onion and Fox News.
Read http://clients3.google.com/url?q=https://bohiney.com/accidental-crypto-billionaire/ the full article now at:
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Auf Wiedersehen.